Couples who come to my clinic more and more talk about low frequency to almost zero sex. Notes that the desire faded almost completely, it is interesting to see that the age of the couples is declining.
The reasons are many couples in our time too stressed and too busy, too spent raising children, too tired to do sex.
The pressure of modern life is a significant factor, my patient expressed it beautifully, “When I look around and see a messy, e disorderly obligations to their parents, all of this takes away all sexual desire, it is added to many times fights, disappointments, guilty among pair. There is another level that affects both the pleasure in sex related internal understandings about gender. While we recognize the importance of sex sometimes referred to as something that is not important. This position is influenced education models get home.
Esther Perel in her intelligence erotic States that – “ideology of love in modern conflicts sometimes forces of passion. Love thrives in an atmosphere of closeness, mutuality and equality, we wish to acknowledge our beloved and keep him close by and shrink the distance winemaker, we take care of our beloved, is worried about her, felt responsible for him, the elements The defending nurture caring love often block the senseless provider erotic pleasure. ” She believes that love and passion are not in contradiction, they just do not always exist simultaneously. We are looking for stable anchor our partners Ben and reliable but at the same time we expect that love will give us the experience of transcendence that will allow us to marry into our lives. The challenge for contemporary couples is the ability to combine the need for what is certain and predictable and exciting ambition to seek the mysterious and awesome. She argues that only a handful of lucky is not at all challenging, couples are educated to easily integrate the cleaning garage with back massage trust, for which there is no discord between commitment and excitement, the responsibility mischievous, but most of us desire for excitement in that relationship that we establish the status is not a task Easy, unfortunately too many stories of love, sacrifice passion to achieve stability.
Couples therapy with a sexual reference trying to figure out what the right balance for each pair in the field of separate self, intimacy and passion also learn the secrets related to sex life, social and cultural influences, to release inhibitions towards the realization of desires.
From time to time I am surprised again to see how many people do not feel worthy to enjoy having fun as needed sex. As a result, they are unable to maintain a sense of vitality occurrence in their relationship, others are afraid to express their need for sexual excitement especially with those who love and respect.
Michel Brown in her book “Naked Relationships” states that – “You have to negotiate about the sex, intimacy. Usually when you reach parity do not know how to negotiate the most basic needs of our, and when we are already doing it, it was done without words, a precedent was set and from there it went really thought and talked about what we want to give and receive, and when it comes to sex, at first all hormones running wild and fun, but then, after the first child begin to real life, especially for women. Studies have determined that our brain turns off the passion our spouse. She claims very important to negotiate what we need, want and can give and receive relationship. you can maintain sexual attraction and can improve sex but have to do it consciously: to talk about it, fantasize about it, keep it alive and make the race to 10 minutes at the end of the day. I can not let sex become a chore, sex is part of what we do to make ourselves better ” .